The Ballad of James J.

     I've completely abandoned my scary story writing. After sitting in front of a blank screen for months, I can't get anywhere further than page one. I'm moving forward with the tale of James J, who shall remain last name free for now. James J a sign-spinner. Where did he come from? Why is he a sign-spinner? Why does he always smell like Crayons? What will happen to him in the future? I almost want to throw in a sci-fi element. Well now that I've typed out "sci-fi", I don't like that idea at all.
     This feels more like me. It's better to do what you know, than delve into something you aren't familiar with.

     Trying to find something to spark the creative part of my mind. I have a few ideas I'm working with. So far it involves stamps and letters and elf earrings. Writing in my planner has been productive and gratifying, especially since I'm finally able to mark off completed tasks. Paper journaling will come next, as well as live blooooging (hold up monocle to one's eye) updates. I think writing and drawing will keep me from thinking about the "what if's & should have's" that have been clogging up my mind. "Idle hands", if you will.

     My love for cooking has not dimished. I've come leaps and bounds, considering six years ago, I could have burned water.

Rosemary, Lemon Chicken, Potatoes & Mushrooms.

Oven to 400F.

Set red potatoes to boil for ten minutes.

In a small bowl mix:

1/4 olive oil

Juice from 3 lemon halves

2 garlic cloves, crushed

Salt

Pepper

Dried rosemary

Arrange chicken legs, potatoes, sliced mushrooms into oven pan.

Cut potatoes into halves, place in pan.

Drizzle oil mix over everything.

Place fresh rosemary on top of dish.

Bake for 1 hr (or when chicken hits 165F)

Enjoy with a white wine.

   
   

Glad You're Hear To Hear Me Sing

They say that if you see someone in your dreams that you don't recognize, you have created a person from bits of people you have already met. What about music? This is the third time I've heard a song in my dreams, only this time, I grabbed my notebook and jolted down what I was hearing.

"Glad You're Here to Hear Me Sing". It was some old timey, jazz song that I already knew the words to and was able to sing along. I fell back to sleep and forgot all about it. When I went to see my daily events for the day, I saw the song title. I had accidentally wrote "sign", instead of "sing'.

Simple google search told me my song didn't exist.

Where In the World Is….

How to find me…

On Facebook

On Twitter

On Pinterest

On Snapchat: tza88

On Periscope : @TheTZA

On Vine: TZA

On Instagram: THETZA88

On Spotify: Terri Benally

On Fitbit: Terri Benally

Also, if you have my phone number, you'd probably find me right away….
Sometimes I check my email. 


Places you will not find me:
MySpace
FourSquare
Kik
Skype
Tinder
LinkedIn
Under The Bridge.

Happy Hunting!

My Favorite Madonna Songs!

Unbirthday Pt II

Birthdays.
Most of my favorite TV show finales land on my birthday. Bummer
Graduations happen on my birthday, mine did. Bittersweet.

I had a long stream of conscious blog I wanted to write on Monday, but fuck it.
I've been writing, a lot. Mostly about inner thoughts. Until I find a more cohesive gounding, I think I could churn something out. I've been cooking! It's fun! I never knew how much I didn't know. I wasn't taught how to cook and I honestly don't know how I survived before. Living without funds, no job, and two kids, you definitely learn survival basics. Cooking has brought an almost hobby-like obsession to my life.

Being in physical pain is very much not the business. Allergy season has really kicked my ass and everything I've been doing hasn't really touched or alleviated the pain and fatigue. I have terrible insomnia. Since coming off all my meds 6 months ago, I wonder if it's time to give it another try.

I don't know why writing seems to flow when at my most delirious mental state (four hours sleep!). We shall see if this blog still stands tomorrow! I lie in bed all night tossing and turning obsessing over every awkward detail of my day. "Could I have done x better?" "Should I have said this instead, or nothing at all?" I need meditation.

Regerts, I has them.

XOXO

Alive

Status updated.

A little broken and a little lost, but aren't we all?

XOXO

Monster

Everyone who knows me well, knows I dream all kinds of crazy. I dream about people, I dream about the future, the past. I dream about the end of the world. Sometimes, I dream about things that are happening or about to happen.

Monday morning. I sleep a weird schedule. I go to bed with everyone around 11pm. I wake up between 4:30-5:00 am. Sometimes, I stay awake. Mostly, I drink some water and try to go back to sleep. This is what I dreamed and it was so vivid and detailed.


     I'm sitting on a packed bus. (The kind of bus that travels long distances with tourists and travelers.) The two lane high way makes it hard to go fast because of it's winding around a steep incline going up a mountain. It's sunny and clear. I feel the bus tremble underneath me as it falls off the road and slides down into a pool of stagnant water.
     Everyone on the bus is yelling and screaming. We all eventually make it out through the windows. We are all drenched from falling into the water. I don't hear any sirens. I wonder if anyone had called the police. Some cops arrive and a weird truck pulling a portable trailer come.
     I observe the people and if anyone is hurt or needs medical attention. There seems to be a scuffle near by. I get in the middle of it and a man stands 15 feet in front of me with his feet firmly planted on the ground. His eyes are white and his face is twisted, like he's painfully angry.
     They tell us to get into the trailer where there are triage/medical rooms. I hear noises, a man yelling and screaming. While everyone is exchanging worried glance, I get up and look in room where all the Doctors and nurses are. A man is restrained to the table. It's the man from outside. His eyes are white and his skin is grey. His thrashing is violent and people hover above him.
     They eventually come out and start assessing everyone from the bus. I'm almost the last to be examined. I walk into the makeshift room and sit on the bed. I am freaked out. A nurse comes in to draw my blood and I don't want anyone to touch me. A doctor runs in with a pillow and I'm stand on the other side of the bed. I see the doctors eyes, they are glazed and translucent and the florescent lights are highlighting his now grey skin.
     I get around them and run out the door. I run down the road where there's a parked army truck. I pick up a rocket launcher. I aim it at the trailer and blow it up. I put down the launcher and walk to the edge of the road. It's a ledge looking over a drop in the mountain. I spread my arms and jump off.

Pretty crazy dream!